Frustration

Im not the type of person to usually show my emotions in front of others. Not sure why, but I tend to hold everything inside until it reaches a certain point and then It explodes out. Im working on being more open with emotions but the only place I seem to be able to bare everything is on this blog. Not sure why that is but for now Ill just have to roll with it.

I find my self getting more and more frustrated with life situations lately. I see other people and judge my “success” upon what others have or are doing. I know this is the wrong way to go about this, but Im not sure how to change that way of thinking. 

I just feel like people don’t take me seriously. I know for a lot of that I have only my self to blame. But I am trying to make changes and I feel like no one is taking them seriously. I know I need to just trust in Gods plan for my life but it can be very difficult. 

I see friends in college or already started in their careers and then I look at where im at, working a job I hate. I feel like im being called into ministry whether it be Outreach or youth pastor or something of that nature. All I know is I want to do something to help people know God. But I constantly feel judged for not being in school and not knowing what Im going to do with my life.

The other area that I continue to become more and more frustrated with is the whole relationship stuff. With friends and with a girlfriend. I seem to always be in the just friends category. I don’t know what I do to get into that but I find my self in it alot. it just gets frustrating putting your self out there to be told your only seen as a friend or to be denied for some other reason. I hate complaining about this and normally don’t but its extremely frustrating to be upset by it, then have friends throw it in my face that im not in a relationship and haven’t been for quite some time. I dunno i guess i just feel like a joke sometimes. Like if I wasn’t the first person to text my friends I don’t know if they would text me to hang out. 

I’ve just had a really rough few days. Venting out frustration. Im done being dramatic, I just need to refocus on God and trust in his plan.

1 year ago  /  3 notes